Dear Kelly,
I know what you think, why am I writing you a letter on a paper when there are other faster, environmentally friendlier tools like e-mail, messenger and even text message? Just stop questioning it, and start reading.
Here it goes... Oh, and pardon my grammar and vocabulary. After all, I am only a C-graded student, and I never took English literature class.
Alright, you might think that we are in a mutual loving relationship because we kiss each other everyday, my mother loves you, my brother thinks you are the coolest girl. Here is a thing for you to remember...what my mother and brother do or feel did not represent my own feeling and thoughts. Just because I kiss you doesn't mean I miss you.
Kelly, I have to admit, you have everything I thought I would want in a person. The pretty eyes, the even prettier personality and beautiful body. When I first met you, I knew that I would want to love everything about you, and it sucks knowing that I don't even trust myself enough to actually believe that it's what I actually want.
Kelly, I could never tell you this because everytime I try to tell you, your eyes would look like they are ready to flood themselves, your soft, worried voice would stop my brain from giving instructions and leave me speechless instead.
Well the truth is.. I don't feel right. You remember the old cliche, "it's not you, it's me"? Well, that is exactly what I feel about you, about these intense series of 'seeing each other' we had.
I feel ugly inside and out around you. I feel trapped, without you even purposely try to strangle me.
I am sorry to say, Kelly, but your greatness has waken up the insecurity and depression I've always had buried inside me. I am too coward to tell you these, I am a fucking wuss.
So after a couple months of my painful journey of desperately pretending to love you, I decided to write this letter. I hope by doing this, you will have a better understanding about who I really am, and how difficult it is for me to breakup with you. I wish I could tell you what is wrong with you, as I always have been an expert of blaming others.
Unfortunately, there is NOTHING wrong with you and that's why it creeps the shit out of me. I like being right but sometimes I need you to make mistakes to make me feel right.
With this letter, I am granting you full-time permission to come over to my house everytime you want. You can take my mother out for shopping, or have coffee with my brother, and in 2 or 3 years, maybe you can date him. Don't worry, he's in love with you, he's willing to go to those glamorous parties and he's a great guy. Two great people are meant for each other, and someone like you deserves a man who is able to love and appreciate, just like him.
So, Kelly, since I at least know myself well enough to know that if I break up with you the usual way people do, my cowardice won't ever leave me alone, let alone my monstrous fear of causing you pain; which is why I am going to do it this way. I just wish that your eyes won't experience tsunami, that they will stay sufficiently dry; and your soft, beautiful voice won't lose its art.
Oh, maybe one day you will nod and say, "okay Brian, I understand you now."
Please never ever change, Kelly.
You are God's masterpiece and I am just a misshaped creation of His.
Brian
----------------------------------
I know what you think, why am I writing you a letter on a paper when there are other faster, environmentally friendlier tools like e-mail, messenger and even text message? Just stop questioning it, and start reading.
Here it goes... Oh, and pardon my grammar and vocabulary. After all, I am only a C-graded student, and I never took English literature class.
Alright, you might think that we are in a mutual loving relationship because we kiss each other everyday, my mother loves you, my brother thinks you are the coolest girl. Here is a thing for you to remember...what my mother and brother do or feel did not represent my own feeling and thoughts. Just because I kiss you doesn't mean I miss you.
Kelly, I have to admit, you have everything I thought I would want in a person. The pretty eyes, the even prettier personality and beautiful body. When I first met you, I knew that I would want to love everything about you, and it sucks knowing that I don't even trust myself enough to actually believe that it's what I actually want.
Kelly, I could never tell you this because everytime I try to tell you, your eyes would look like they are ready to flood themselves, your soft, worried voice would stop my brain from giving instructions and leave me speechless instead.
Well the truth is.. I don't feel right. You remember the old cliche, "it's not you, it's me"? Well, that is exactly what I feel about you, about these intense series of 'seeing each other' we had.
I feel ugly inside and out around you. I feel trapped, without you even purposely try to strangle me.
I am sorry to say, Kelly, but your greatness has waken up the insecurity and depression I've always had buried inside me. I am too coward to tell you these, I am a fucking wuss.
So after a couple months of my painful journey of desperately pretending to love you, I decided to write this letter. I hope by doing this, you will have a better understanding about who I really am, and how difficult it is for me to breakup with you. I wish I could tell you what is wrong with you, as I always have been an expert of blaming others.
Unfortunately, there is NOTHING wrong with you and that's why it creeps the shit out of me. I like being right but sometimes I need you to make mistakes to make me feel right.
With this letter, I am granting you full-time permission to come over to my house everytime you want. You can take my mother out for shopping, or have coffee with my brother, and in 2 or 3 years, maybe you can date him. Don't worry, he's in love with you, he's willing to go to those glamorous parties and he's a great guy. Two great people are meant for each other, and someone like you deserves a man who is able to love and appreciate, just like him.
So, Kelly, since I at least know myself well enough to know that if I break up with you the usual way people do, my cowardice won't ever leave me alone, let alone my monstrous fear of causing you pain; which is why I am going to do it this way. I just wish that your eyes won't experience tsunami, that they will stay sufficiently dry; and your soft, beautiful voice won't lose its art.
Oh, maybe one day you will nod and say, "okay Brian, I understand you now."
Please never ever change, Kelly.
You are God's masterpiece and I am just a misshaped creation of His.
Brian
----------------------------------
At least that's what I read on this piece of paper layin on the bed, at kelly's house, now I remember my name, 'Brian'
Now I remember a few names of people that 'related' to me when I am still a human, where are they now? are they dead? or maybe, they have became one of us? zombies..
Whatever it is, I keep going deeper into downtown
